My exciting life with a house full of boys

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Morals VS Finances

I am so stinking tick off! Several different things happened today that just lit me up and so I'm venting. Several years ago, more like ten , we were working for a contractor who taught me a very valuable lesson. One that I check in with now and then to see where I truly stand. He was a friend. A man that we trusted. A man that said he wanted to help us gain a secure footing in our company. (Side note: We've been self employed for sixteen years.) Months after a particularly large project was completed he still had not paid us in full. Unfortunately this ended up with lawyers. We never received the tens of thousands that he owed us but we learned a lesson.

He made the comment, "I know what the moral decision is but this is not a moral decision. It's a financial one."

And with that he told the necessary lies and forged the documents that got him off the so called financial hook and obligation. We pulled up our boot straps and went on. But I am always surprised at dishonest people who otherwise are very good. I simply don't get it. I can almost guarantee the way different cultures will pay us and do business. From their ethnicity to their religion. I won't break it down here because I don't want to throw everyone into the generalization pot. But very few customers have proven us wrong to date.

Gripe #1 - I am floored by the "buy and bail" that is so prevalent right now. If you aren't familiar with the term it is when someone intentionally purchases a second home with the intent of walking/foreclosing on the first. It's also referred to as a strategic foreclosure. You mean a strategic way to get away with something or out of something that you don't want to deal with. It's cheating. And cheaters stink. People aren't even ashamed to admit that they intentionally walked from their home. Wow. I'm sure I'm going to offend someone but I honestly don't care right now. I understand having to leave and foreclose on a property due to illness, death, loss of job etc. But to outright bail because your property lost value is down right dishonest in my eyes. Especially if you can continue to afford said property. Moral decision VS financial decision. How many "bailers" cancelled their cable and satellite, lowered their cell plans and all the perks, gave up the fast food and restaurants, vacationed less or not at all. I don't understand why you walk when you had planned on living there to raise your family. So what if the value dropped. If you can still afford your payments then why leave. If it was purchased as an investment then bad gamble. You signed a contract. You made an agreement. You didn't come out on top this time. To bad. Life is unfair. But for crying out loud hold on to your honor. Honor. Does anyone have it anymore? Do people even know what it truly means? Everyone is looking for the easy way out. No one is willing to work or suffer through to keep what matters. Self dignity. Honor. Self respect.

Gripe #2 - Once again another business man is taking us for a ride. Why? Because he screwed up and he needs a fall guy. So instead of taking responsibility and recognizing that he isn't going to come out on top this time, he is choosing to throw us under the bus for his benefit. He is slandering the work we do and the company we own. He is trampling over friendship and professionalism in order to get gain. And yes, he does fall into one of my unmentioned categories. It makes my blood boil because I know he knows the truth. Where is the courage to do what is right? A person shows their true character by what they do with their money. Rich or poor.

I've reread what I wrote and I sound arrogant. I don't mean to be. I have an expectation. I teach my children to do the right thing. To be honest in everything they do. Everything. It can be hard to do what is right and take responsibility for our mess ups. It takes courage. But by standing strong it builds character and self respect and no way will I allow someone else's decisions take that away from me. I've worked to hard to earn it and to keep it.


  1. I couldn't agree with you more. I am amazed at the lack of values and integrity and character that I see in my generation. When I think of my grandfathers, my own was black and white to them...right and wrong with NO gray. And you chose the right thing, no matter how hard it was, not only because it was the right thing, but because it said EVERYTHING about the type of person you were known to be.

  2. No mention of this this evening. I wish I'd known, then I could have the full juice. People just suck, don't they?

  3. AMEN. It would be to walk away from bills. Bret and I are finding it rewarding to be struggle to pay for our overspending and past mistakes. We look at is as being honest and how really good it will feel to have our debts paid in full in a few short years. time spent without vacations, new everythings and expensive dates. We will be better for it and so will you. I.m sorry some peeps take advantage of you and the system. I love ya...

  4. I echo Jenny's comment 100%-well, the last part anyways, since I wasn't at the RS BIrthday! Sorry you are on the receiving end-yet again-of all the bad parts of mankind.

    But lucky you to have a piece of that made from scratch triple layer cake, it looked yummy!

  5. Good for you! Daniel and I have talked about this many times, it is happening a lot where we live, and with a lot of people we know in the church. When we moved to Montana we struggled with having our house still in Co and were faced with the decision to forclose or move back and fulfill our contract that we signed on our house. We could not feel honest about leaving it when we could get a job and move back and pay on it. We feel the same way as you! I am sorry about your situation, people stink sometimes! Stay strong and someday it will come full circle for you and them!