My exciting life with a house full of boys

Thursday, November 11, 2010

I'm A Liar. Are you?

I'll admit it. I'm a seasonal liar. At least to my children. I'm also a magician (at least when my children are young) and magicians perfect the art of deception. It all began one summer at the grocery store. My boys liked water melon but didn't like the seeds and therefore wouldn't eat it. I bought a seedless watermelon and took it home. I called them all to my attention and performed a fantastic abracadabra blah blah blah and Voila! The proof of my magic was exposed as soon as the knife cut into the juicy meat of the watermelon. No seeds. I was not only a magician but I was also a hero. This lie magic trick went on for several years. But one day the unthinkable happened. One of them learned to read. And I had been foolish enough to take that one with me to the grocery store. "You mean they make seedless watermelons!" he exclaimed with a hint of disdain in his voice. I was had. He wasn't willing to keep this secret from his brothers. As soon as his feet hit the driveway he was running in the house to expose his fallen hero.

I got my talent from my mom. She was a magician too. With the toaster. She had this great ability to know just when the toast was going to pop up. I still don't know how she did it. But I guess it wasn't lying magic like mine.

A new season is fast approaching and I giggled to myself as I listened in on a conversation between my twins as we walked through JCPenny's. One was acting up and the other was very quick to remind him of the Santa Cam's. They both looked up and simultaneously pointed. "He's watching you ya know." And the bad behavior immediately stopped and they were absolute darlings the rest of the shopping trip. I confess to another lie. No not Santa. We all do that. Several years ago I told my tantrum throwing toddlers that the spy/security camera's in Walmart was Santa's way of watching them.

I mean really, how else can he know what you want and if you are being naughty or nice I told them. And since I'm the mom and they are supposed to trust me I used it to every advantage and they believed in me- in Santa - in Santa cams. Take a look up the next time you're in a store with a rotten kid. Your chances of having a Santa cam near you is pretty good. And whether that makes me naughty or nice it's a lie I'm sticking to until they find out that the universal lie - Santa - isn't true.


  1. And by then, they won't want to come with you to Walmart anyway!

  2. I say the same thing...hee hee hee

    AND, they will say the same thing to their kids!

  3. I am also a big propaganda (sp) fan! I tell my kids all the time what a great mom I am, or how nice I am or whatever! Dallin told me the other day he wasn't going to tell his kids how great he is all the time like me! We will see....

  4. Okay, that is hilarious!! Seedless watermelon. I am gonna have to try that hidden camera thing. Just may calm my 5 least until they are out of camera range!

  5. I'm totally a liar. I lie to my kids all the time. Yes, I do.